Women over 40 in the church

I often get the feeling that no one really cares that much about us. It seems that most of the church is so focused on youth. I'm not really sure why that is.

Yes, youth are the future of the church but older people have spiritual needs too. I think its just a natural bias that most people have about someone that is older. I posted a prayer request on a website, I indicated my age and that I needed prayer for my walk with the lord. There is a spot where people can indicate that they prayed for you. I was prayed for twice. A young mother that posted her request 1 day earlier looking for fellowship at the church was prayed for 10 times.

I guess the church really isn't much different from the world in many ways. Its another great argument for not looking at Christians and keeping your eyes on Jesus.

Its also a good argument for giving where you see a need, rather than giving to a church and trusting their benevolent fund. I plan to give to Christians directly for the most part from now on and giving to small ministries that really need the support.

I watch some ministries videos online and I feel that I should offer some support there because I benefit, but it's going to be nominal.

I never thought...

I never thought that it would be this difficult to come back to Christ. It's difficult not because I really don't believe (as some people may assert) but because my heart is hardened in a way. I have let so many things that are not of God into my life. Even though it was for a short season and things that were really not all that bad (probably the worst thing is swearing and okay maybe the increase in masturbation, but thats about it), I still feel like I am not as close to God as I was.

I do see a difference though. I was trying to do my whole Christian walk in my own strength. My "walk" before was about my ego and not looking bad before man. I made sure I looked and sounded very "Christian" to everyone, but many times my thoughts about people and situations were not very Christlike. I was a huge phony as a Christian in the past. I never confessed my struggles. I was very pious. I was more worried about what other people were or were not doing over being concerned about my OWN standing before God.

I am still not working (I haven't had a steady job since 2007!) and all of that time I could have spend growing closer to God. I guess He dealt with the pride and phoniness in me that He needed to. My desire is to live right (and steadfastly) before Him and not worry about what anyone else is doing.

I'm also really excited about easter this year. If He was never resurrected, then there wouldn't be an easter and there wouldn't be Christianity. I cannot wait to celebrate.